Of All The Luck

All of these stars above us
Are as distant as your eyes
On the days when you betray,
The days you dream about him.

On those days I am a dreamer too.
I am a dancer in the dark, my mind
Full of deep reds and cigarettes,
Flower boxes and the Suffolk coastline.

Your gaze, for now, drifts back to me.
Your stars shimmer in a haze and vanish.
I relish the hours of neglect
And dream of days and her.

Night room.

I lie in bed and watch the grey shadows on my wall,
spilling in my window.
Tracing my hand across them. The darkness of my fingers,
I am still here.

I cannot sleep sleep sleep.
(Remember now. Repetition for emphasis)
Nothing like 2am and
nothing to do.
Nothing like it.

Everything is different
shades of greys and blacks.
I shouldn’t sleep on my back.
The word ‘song’ sour on my tongue:
too much, too soon. Too real.

I lie and listen to the nothing happening around this creature that is me.
The tears come but still
I feel
nothing.