Sick With Doubt

The sky has grown dark and colder.
The hoods of my eyes
Dark blue and quieter.
We shuffle about our daily lives
With a sickening normality.

The essence of you has
Dropped into me
This past year.
Grating past the back teeth
You catch in my throat
And leave the grainy metallic remains
Of your softly spoken words,
Hard to swallow,
Along the roof of my mouth
And the underside of my tongue.

The spring rain falls
Like it did last September:
Slick and even and predictable.
But it reaches the ground
As little more than
whispers and secrets.
The form of your half hidden smile
Ominously sincere.
Like a beautiful china doll,
A freshly painted angel,
So fair and delicate
With hushing tears
That slowed time until
Each droplet took an eternity.
And I held your hand
As if to drain the sorrow from it.
As if to drain it of love.

My heart beats
Heavy in my chest
And when I close my eyes
It is your face I see.

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4 thoughts on “Sick With Doubt

    • Haha! Not yet!
      Who knows if I ever will but thank :]

      Music’s going well. Just finished my masters in Performance.
      Hence the lack of recent posts. Busybusybusy.
      Headed to England for a course.
      Then a competition in Vienna.
      And then I’m going to the Opera Studio in Zurich, Switzerland in August for the year.
      Exciting times indeed.

      How are you?

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