Circumstances

I could love a woman with a
larger than average nose,
Provided it was a quiet day.
Just her and I in
various stages of undress
by some meadow pond
or mountain spring.
I have always loved
equally
the smell of buttercups and pine needles.

Without hesitancy or delay,
in perfect time
when sentences move monosyllabically
and our shirt collars stiff and durable
are cast aside like
an empty priest’s robe.

I could love her then
like I love a winter evening,
like I love the destiny chosen,
not like I love every girl I meet.

8 comments

  1. spasmicallyperfect · February 12, 2008

    Ben,
    totally adore hat first section, reminder of hours in Love spent outside in conservation parks when everybody else was working.

    Actually, I love the whole thing. Well done.

    Hope all is well and nice (new?) header by the way! Spaz

  2. zaphodfreek · February 12, 2008

    Cheers spaz.
    As always, lovely to hear from you.

    I’m good,
    if a little tired.
    Essays are terrible things.
    But I won 500euro just the other day
    so maybe things are looking up?

  3. secretagentartist · February 13, 2008

    Hi, thanks for reading my piece – really love this one – especially that first and last section – so beautiful – first couplet really hooks you in

  4. krkbaker · February 13, 2008

    Ben this is my absolute favoritest one that you have written (and yes I know that’s not a word)
    “I could love a woman with a
    larger than average nose,
    Provided it was a quiet day.”
    brilliant.
    I mean honestly. I can’t say it enough.
    You’ve got that something special.
    I hope you never stop writing.
    kim

    PS one thing: check the next to last line.

  5. Jeff Turner · February 13, 2008

    I dig the entire vibe of this one. Kim is right.

  6. zaphodfreek · February 13, 2008

    Thanks SAA. That means a lot.

    And thank you too Jeff and Kim. I write these just for you people, who else is going to read them?

    Now here’s something, Kim.
    Should I change it to
    “Like I love thee, my chosen destiny”
    for a nice bit of internal rhymn,
    or should it be
    “Like I love my chosen destiny”?

  7. krkbaker · February 14, 2008

    I don’t know
    I almost like switching them…like,

    “I could love her then
    like I love a winter evening,”

    like I love my destiny chosen,
    not like I love every girl I meet.

    Just an idea. But I definitely think that to throw an internal rhyme in this late would interrupt the read.
    It’s such a fantastic piece.
    Really.
    I’m going to put it on my blog at some point if that’s ok.
    cheers.

  8. zaphodfreek · February 14, 2008

    Sorted.
    I agree.

    And sure, it’s certainly okay.

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